Tuesday 13 September 2011

Sometimes, it's really hard to know or understand God's purpose over our lives. Yesterday, for the first time ever I think, I was genuinely angry with God. I mean, really hacked off! I know He can more than handle my frustration, and would rather that I prayerfully vent that anger towards Him, than sinfully elsewhere. But like a midget kicking the walls of a skyscraper, He got the full force of my frustration. 

I have the whole 'plans to prosper and not to harm you' verse going round and round in my head; which I'm taking unusually small comfort from, in the midst of a very fruitless job hunt. To cut a long story short...I thought I had very clearly heard His direction towards one job, which I'd completely been sold out for. It was the job I'd been hoping for, for months. Much prayer, planning and enthusiasm followed. Only to find that it was an unsuccessful application.

So I'm smack-in-the-face back to square one, and trying to listen to Him again; albeit with a ringing in my ears.

His love is big. It is totally and utterly for us. And now, like a stroppy little toddler,  I'm in the part where it's tough getting my head around my Father's perfect plan.